Welcome to Cancer Season, It's My Birthday, and So I Shall Reveal Secrets!

It’s officially Cancer season which means ALL THE FEELINGS ARE OKAY ALL OF THE TIME FOR THE NEXT MONTH AND NOBODY CAN SAY ANYTHING AGAINST THIS OR US FOR HAVING THE FEELINGS!

Have I made myself clear?

I am a Cancer. A cuspy one. For 45 years I thought I was a straight Gemini, and that was hard for me, frankly. My friend Madeleine tried to tell me I was wrong about this for many years. She did my birth chart. Emailed it to me. Printed it out. Several times. We talked about it too, but it just didn’t click. It took me falling in love with a woman, a Gemini, to realize that actually I’m a Cancer sun, with a Scorpio moon (explains the wildness and refusal to follow correct paths even when I fuck myself over every last time), and then another thing in Gemini and another thing in Cancer. I’m obvs not very good with astrology, but Michelle Tea is so if you haven’t followed her yet, please do.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

It’s my birthday! It’s also the summer solstice! I have never not loved having my birthday on the summer solstice! It feels like an extra wonderful gift from the universe—so much opening up, so much sun, so much light, so much possibility. Thank you universe. You’ve given me some real shit, but you’ve also given me some truly great stuff and a solstice birthday is one of them.

My teen wants you to know that it’s also Lana Del Ray’s birthday. I am lucky in this way too. What a lyricist. My favorite Lana song is currently “Peppers,” which I have needed my teen to explain to me like five times. This video is an Angelina mash up so quite fun, but too much Brad for sure. Oh, and if you think it’s about BJs, you’re right.

NOW FOR THE SECRETS, SOME SERIOUS, SOME NOT

Remember if you can’t afford a subscription just let me know and I will gift you no questions asked. But if you can afford a subscription, let’s do this!